Blonde Jokes
  1. Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
    A: "How can I be sure it's mine?"
  2. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawn mower?
    A: The green "WELCOME" mat is ripped all to shreds.
  3. Q: How do blondes commit suicide?
    A: They put spikes on their shoulder pads.
  4. Q: Why are blondes like turtles?
    A: Once they're on their back, they're screwed.
  5. Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
    A: Both are empty from the neck up.
  6. Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
    A: Give her a pack of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.
  7. Q: Why don't blondes like pickles?
    A: They keep getting their heads stuck in the jar.
  8. Q: What is a blonde's mating call?
    A: "I'm soooooo drunk!"
  9. Q: What is a brunette's mating call?
    A: "Have all the blondes gone home?"
  10. Q: What do you call a brunette between 2 blondes?
    A: "Interpreter."
  11. Q: What does a blonde say first thing in the morning?
    A: "Are all you guys on the same team?"
  12. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
    A: 100 - one to stir and 99 to peel the M&Ms.
  13. Q: How can you tell when a blonde has used your computer?
    A: There's "White-Out" all over the screen.
  14. Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
    A: To keep their ankles warm.
  15. Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
    A: Blow in her ear.
  16. Q: How does a blonde turn on the light in the morning?
    A: She opens the car door.
  17. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
    A: You know how many men went down on the Titanic.
  18. Q: Why did 18 blondes go to the R-rated movie?
    A: Because they heard that under 17 was not admitted.
  19. Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
    A: She kept throwing out the W's.
  20. Q: What do most blondes have against condoms?
    A: Their cheeks.
  21. Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
    A: The winner of a "Hide and Seek" game.
  22. Q: What goes "VROOOM... SCREECH! VROOOM... SCREECH! VROOOM... SCREECH!"?
    A: A blonde at a flashing red light.
  23. Q: Why can't blondes use birth control pills?
    A: They keep falling out.
  24. Q: How does a blonde hemophiliac treat herself?
    A: Acupuncture.
  25. Q: Why does a blonde eat beans on Saturday?
    A: So she can take a bubble bath on Sunday.
  26. Q: Why did the blonde have a hysterectomy?
    A: She wanted to stop having grandchildren.
  27. Q: Why was the blonde two hours late getting home?
    A: The escalator got stuck.
  28. Q: Why did the blonde stay up all night studying?
    A: She had a urine test the next day.
  29. Q: Why didn't the blonde vote?
    A: She didn't care who got in.
  30. Q: Why was the blonde housewife mad at her husband?
    A: He was out shooting craps and she didn't know how to cook them. Q: What goes VAROOM Screech! VAROOM Screech! VAROOM Screech!? A: A blond driving through a blinking red light. =;-{)